A study was carried out yesterday at the University of Armageddon (UA) by Lucifer himself. It premised that ‘the world is majorly f****d’. Their research focused specifically on the US presidential election results. After Trump’s acceptance speech yesterday the study claimed that:
“4 in 5 people are likely to experience moments of extreme fear and anxiety and are more than 50% likely to eat their neighbours”
-Lucifer et al, University of Armageddon, The Time has Come, Page 666.
Not only does the study claim that cannibalism will be the next big thing in 2016, but it also claims that the republicans, Trump and his voters have:
“conspired to kill the values of freedom by placing it in shackles.”
– Lucifer et al, UA, The Time has Come, Chapter 6, Page 66.
We will keep you updated on all developments regarding the imminent apocalypse. So sit back and prepare your spice rack, before your neighbours do.